another old xanga post

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

in lieu of a delorean, i've been turning my room inside out trying to find anything that would help transport me back to five years ago. i want to go back and relive those moments, i want to see my accomplishments, and i want to observe and analyze the emily that so few of my present friends know. the downside of being a part of an almost nomadic family is that many things are lost in the transition. more and more memories were categorized and ranked, and eventually lost / thrown away. i guess for now, one of my biggest regrets is that i didn't cherish the moments in which my life was devoted to trying to establish a sense of self.
recently, i returned to the place of my past...and walked the little secret path that represented many things old that hold a special place in my heart, and brought someone along for the very first time. and as we walked, i found myself rambling on and on and describing everything i saw there, real and imaginary. and immediately, i felt as if for the first time...i was walking with someone who knew me. the two emotions of emily surfaced; sadness because i had lost this place for so long and along with it...myself, and happiness because i remembered it all and shared it with someone for the first time.

if i did have a delorean, i would travel back to my life 5 years ago. walk right up to myself (and completely violate the rules of time travel according to doc brown), and tell myself to treasure everything that i will learn...whether it be by trial and error, self discovery, or from the words of someone much wiser than i. I would tell myself to recognize passion and ambition, and follow through with talent. continue writing everyday. keep every poem, short story, essay, article, sketch, drawing, painting, and photograph. mostly, never to let the situations at hand interfere with your love for family and friends. hold on and treasure them, and treat them the best you can.



the end.
over and out at exactly 88 miles per hour. =)